I Can I Can't

This entry was orignally posted on AlexSuze.com, 03 October 2005.

Sex is compatible with some situations and not with others. There are some things which you can do while having sex, but not others. This list started off as a list of impossibilities that we’d read, particularly in some of the lower class Jazz Mags that just defied credulity. But there are some situations that, unless you’ve been there you wouldn’t believe were possible opportunities for sex.

Here are our lists, I’m sure we’ll think of some more.

You Can’t

• Have sex and thread a needle.
• Have sex and clean your teeth, without all sorts of orthodontic damage.
• Have sex and talk to your parents on the phone, we tried and had to stop as Suzanne’s voice got higher and wobblier by the second.
• Have sex and apply makeup, unless you’re Jackie Stallone - follow this link it’s amazing!
• Have sex and write out greetings cards.
• Have sex and claim you’re a virgin, unless you say it very quickly, at the begining.
• Have sex and keep quiet (Suze).
• Have sex and let your cat out, unless you have very understanding neighbours and don’t mind tripping over the cat.
• Have sex and juggle, if anyone can I would like to see the video.
• Have sex while driving, no matter what anyone says. In the UK you can’t even get a decent blowjob while driving without risking severe chafing from the seat belt.

Cans

• Have sex and speak to your boss on the phone. You do lose concentration on what he’s saying but as your boss rarely wants an answer other than “I agree with you wholeheartedly” that’s not a huge problem.
• Have sex and watch TV, especially porn DVD’s.
• Have sex and wash the dishes, though you do tend to end up with fewer glasses than when you started.
• Have sex and type out your Bligger poooooost, sweat Jesus …..

©AlexSuze.com 2005, 2006, 2007