Instruments of Pleasure or Pain?
This entry was orignally posted on AlexSuze.com, 15 October 2005.
I recall as a young girl, very innocent of thought, the girly talk about cock pumps. Not having a clue what they were used for and hearing the jokes about guys using vacuum cleaners to bring themselves off.
Well, looking at the two I found on the Internet, it looks as if the rumours could have been true. These two fellas look as if they could give hours of good clean fun. Meet Henry and James, offering 2200mm of suction, wow.
There is also a George and a Charles in the same range. Now hold on a moment, why are all these male? Do they have the best suction ability? Oh no, I’m not going there!
If you have been reading my articles of late, you will be aware of my recent entries on sex toys. There is a whole world of exciting pleasure accessories and devices out there. Which brings me to today’s in depth expose.
We are all aware of the cock pump but there are some really frightening (and that’s for me a woman) devices. Now is it me or does this look more like a gun? If used correctly can take out an opponent at 50 paces with its jet propelled lube. Deadly in the wrong hands. Or is it used to fill the gap between bath and wall? I’m frightened now.
Doc Johnson Titan Enlarger PumpThis penis developer pump is called the “Titan” for good reason.Its many features include a sturdy and comfortable trigger grip pump with high precision vacuum gauge, and ultra clear vacuum cylinder with two sizes of rubber penis seal, flexible hose with quick release connections and concise instructions for use with a detailed daily schedule for you to follow for maximum results.
http://www.bedroompleasures.co.uk £81.44
Great idea to have quick release connections, this is either to facilitate fast removal should your parents knock on your bedroom door, or alternatively if you are a little over enthusiastic and about to rip your cock off.
The design features of the Titan are excellent, with the ultra clear vacuum cylinder you can now see if your cock is turning blue. I’m also impressed that they have provided a detailed daily schedule to follow, not that you may have one of your own of course.
I am now convinced that these devices have been created to fool the wife. They look to the innocent observer as if they are tools for the car. Therefore they can be placed in your toolbox without the fear of detection. She will never know that you are administering some selfhelp. When she asks what the hissing noise in the garage is, you can say, “I’m just inflating the car tyres dear”.
The Magnum Pump.Easily the most innovative pump on the market today, the magnum pump is equipped with a new and improved safety vacuum gauge and handle that arrive at your most comfortable pressure.
http://www.mysextoy.co.uk £69.95
This next item looks very much like a cock splint. But no, it’s an instrument of torture… a cock wrack. Watch your cock being stretched using variable tensions. Possibly until you pass out.
Jes Penis Extender KitExperience gains of 2-4 inches, guaranteed and pain free! The Jes Extender works on ancient traction technology. By applying a constant traction force to the penis you can create enlargement gradually, pain-free and guaranteed.If, like many you would like a bigger penis but are wary of methods such as surgery or pumps, then the Jes Extender is for you.
http://www.johnnyhorn.co.uk £169.99
I’ve got to admit the Max Xtender looks like fun. Well it would I’m a woman I hear you say. With a quick tug you can increase your length and if your woman is feeling vindictive cause a slight discomfort. One word of warning, don’t wear this near the dog. He may think he is going out for walkies, grab hold of the string and you will be down the road in no time.
Max XtenderDesigned and engineered to progressively enlarge and elongate your penis to its maximum potential.Penile growth is based on the simple principle of positive tension. By safely and continuously stretching the anatomical parts of the penis and with proper use, increased length and thickness is achievable. Max Xtender is fully adjustable to suit all sizes.
http://www.johnnyhorn.co.uk £49.99
After all the trouble (and pain) you have gone through to achive your results you need the…wait for it…”Cock Rule”. Yes, I’m not joking there is a ruler specially designed to measure your good work.
©AlexSuze.com 2005, 2006, 2007
I recall as a young girl, very innocent of thought, the girly talk about cock pumps. Not having a clue what they were used for and hearing the jokes about guys using vacuum cleaners to bring themselves off.
Well, looking at the two I found on the Internet, it looks as if the rumours could have been true. These two fellas look as if they could give hours of good clean fun. Meet Henry and James, offering 2200mm of suction, wow.
There is also a George and a Charles in the same range. Now hold on a moment, why are all these male? Do they have the best suction ability? Oh no, I’m not going there!
If you have been reading my articles of late, you will be aware of my recent entries on sex toys. There is a whole world of exciting pleasure accessories and devices out there. Which brings me to today’s in depth expose.
We are all aware of the cock pump but there are some really frightening (and that’s for me a woman) devices. Now is it me or does this look more like a gun? If used correctly can take out an opponent at 50 paces with its jet propelled lube. Deadly in the wrong hands. Or is it used to fill the gap between bath and wall? I’m frightened now.
Doc Johnson Titan Enlarger PumpThis penis developer pump is called the “Titan” for good reason.Its many features include a sturdy and comfortable trigger grip pump with high precision vacuum gauge, and ultra clear vacuum cylinder with two sizes of rubber penis seal, flexible hose with quick release connections and concise instructions for use with a detailed daily schedule for you to follow for maximum results.
http://www.bedroompleasures.co.uk £81.44
Great idea to have quick release connections, this is either to facilitate fast removal should your parents knock on your bedroom door, or alternatively if you are a little over enthusiastic and about to rip your cock off.
The design features of the Titan are excellent, with the ultra clear vacuum cylinder you can now see if your cock is turning blue. I’m also impressed that they have provided a detailed daily schedule to follow, not that you may have one of your own of course.
I am now convinced that these devices have been created to fool the wife. They look to the innocent observer as if they are tools for the car. Therefore they can be placed in your toolbox without the fear of detection. She will never know that you are administering some selfhelp. When she asks what the hissing noise in the garage is, you can say, “I’m just inflating the car tyres dear”.
The Magnum Pump.Easily the most innovative pump on the market today, the magnum pump is equipped with a new and improved safety vacuum gauge and handle that arrive at your most comfortable pressure.
http://www.mysextoy.co.uk £69.95
This next item looks very much like a cock splint. But no, it’s an instrument of torture… a cock wrack. Watch your cock being stretched using variable tensions. Possibly until you pass out.
Jes Penis Extender KitExperience gains of 2-4 inches, guaranteed and pain free! The Jes Extender works on ancient traction technology. By applying a constant traction force to the penis you can create enlargement gradually, pain-free and guaranteed.If, like many you would like a bigger penis but are wary of methods such as surgery or pumps, then the Jes Extender is for you.
http://www.johnnyhorn.co.uk £169.99
I’ve got to admit the Max Xtender looks like fun. Well it would I’m a woman I hear you say. With a quick tug you can increase your length and if your woman is feeling vindictive cause a slight discomfort. One word of warning, don’t wear this near the dog. He may think he is going out for walkies, grab hold of the string and you will be down the road in no time.
Max XtenderDesigned and engineered to progressively enlarge and elongate your penis to its maximum potential.Penile growth is based on the simple principle of positive tension. By safely and continuously stretching the anatomical parts of the penis and with proper use, increased length and thickness is achievable. Max Xtender is fully adjustable to suit all sizes.
http://www.johnnyhorn.co.uk £49.99
After all the trouble (and pain) you have gone through to achive your results you need the…wait for it…”Cock Rule”. Yes, I’m not joking there is a ruler specially designed to measure your good work.
©AlexSuze.com 2005, 2006, 2007
posted by Suze at 7:45 PM
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